Civility

The civility or good manners indicates a whole of rules of community life such as the Respect of Others, the Politesse or the courtesy.

According to Picardy Dominique, professor of social Psychology with the University Paris XIII, the terms of “courtesy” and “good manners” can be regarded as Synonyme S and defined as “a whole of rules proposing with the models of control adapted to the various social situations”.

Indeed, the use and the dictionaries define them sometimes in a different way, but not all in the same way. So that by putting side by side the various definitions, one can indifferently use one of the two terms for the same definition.

However, the two words continue to coexist and that is explained by the ambiguous side of the image conveyed by the courtesy (or good manners). On a side, the courtesy is felt like an act of user-friendliness and respect necessary; and of another as a Hypocrisy which pushes to make seeming: to be content to meet its partners, to find them interesting, to find beautiful women, to be satisfied with gift that one receives or from the meal that one is useful to you, etc

The courtesy thus conveys at the same time a very positive image and a very negative image. To preserve two different terms makes it possible to separate these two poles and to defer on one the positive aspects and the other the negative aspects. Thus, for certain moralists or certain dictionaries, the good manners are only one whole of obsolete rules, artificial and circumscribed in the medium middle-class whereas the courtesy is founded on the respect and the recognition of the others. One finds however the opposite in other authors.

Historically, cleavage between these two terms also existed between the words of “civility” and “courtesy”. Today, the term of civility is not used any more, but its opposite, “incivility”, returns in force. According to the situations and the context, one opposes the courtesy or the respect to him (word which currently makes an opening to represent the positive aspect of the courtesy or good manners).

Also let us note that the handbooks which present the rules of uses quasi-unanimement use the term of “good manners”.

References

  • Picardy Dominique, Courtesy, good manners and social relations , PUF, 2007 (Which do I know? 3rd edition)

  • Picardy Dominique, Why courtesy? good manners against incivility , the Threshold, 2007

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