Alphonse Allais

Extracts

Alphonse Allais was journalist and humorist. He died struck of a pulmonary embolism. It remains us of him the image of one man to acid humor and a specialist in the theory of the absurdity. Its scientific work is less known (research on photography color and deposit of a patent for freeze-dried coffee)

It belonged to the Fumiste movement, was member of the club of Hydropathes, was a pillar of the cabaret the black Cat of which it directed the review and presented famous monochromic fabrics ( Combat of negros in a cellar, during the night , Récolte of tomato on the edge of the Red Sea by cardinals apoplectic , etc) to the living room of Incoherent Arts Alphonse Allais composed of the hundreds of tales humorous, all or almost written in the urgency. Poet as much as humorist, it cultivated inter alia the Poème holorime , i.e. consisted of entirely homophonous worms, where the rhyme is consisted the totality of the worms. Example:

“ By the wood of the djinn where fear piles up,

Parle and wood about the gin or hundred cold milk cups. ”

or:

“ Alphonse Allais from the heart wanders and F… with water.

Ah ! salted bottom of the sea! He! This insane! Halation. ”

It can on the occasion make fun of itself, in the worms according to:

“ Ah! See with the bridge of Loing: from there vogue at sea Dante.

Hâve bird laid far from the tedious vogue ”

follow-up of the comment of bottom of page: the rhyme is not very rich, but I like that better to sink in the commonplace .

Its art to draw with the line was proverbial. It is true that it did even that with spirit: " It is hot here, allow that I open a parenthèse".

Universe of Alphonse Allais

Some characters return in a recurring way in the world of Alphonse Allais

Captain Cape (of its true name Albert Caperon), character having his outspokenness ( “the bureaucracy, it is like the microbes: one parlemente not with the microbes. They are killed! ” ), and of which the appearance is pretext required receipts of cocktails .
Francisque Sarcey, critical theatrical of the newspaper Time and personification of “large the middle-class good sense”, is often quoted in the contexts more the mild nutters (the “victim” was not formalized any, and was even delighted to be imitated (Went signed readily its name) by such a spiritual writer. Another author having borrowed the process to him, it made a point of developing the things: Two people only in Paris have the right to sign Francisque Sarcey: Myself initially, and Francisque Sarcey then ).
the economist Paul Leroy-Beaulieu , follower of the Protectionism, whose Alphonse Allais will ridicule the theses in several news under cover to rent them.
It is not deprived either to put in scene François Coppée, Loïe Fuller, Liane of Pougy, Cléo de Mérode, Paul Déroulède and other glories of the Belle time .
In July 2005 the French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin employed during a press conference the expression “Economic patriotism”. One can allot the paternity of this expression to Alphonse Allais who employs it in a news published in “Two and two make five”. Economic patriotism. Letter with Paul Déroulède. Of course, it brocarde joyeusement theses of the patriotard.

Quotations

“There are women who are as the coated stick of jam of pink about which speaks the Persan poet: one cannot by which end take them. ”
“Words are wasted on a starving man, but he crowned one nose. ”
“the most beautiful strategies are written with the past. ”
“Once the terminals were passed, it has there no more limit. ”
“It would be necessary to build the cities in the countryside, the air is healthier there. ” (generally allotted to Alphonse Allais but actually of Jean, Louis, Auguste Commerson (1802-1879) in Pensées of a packer , published in 1851, according to Jacques Rouvière in Ten centuries of humor in the French literature (or Charles Moncelet?)
“It is when one tightens a lady of too close… which it finds that one goes too far. ”
“the woman is the chief of work of God, especially when it has the devil with the body. ”
“It is because fortune comes while sleeping that it arrives so slowly. ”
“a man who can make himself happy with a simple illusion is infinitely more malignant than that which is in despair with reality. ”
“the legs make it possible to the men to go and to the women to make their way. ”
“logic leads to very with the proviso of leaving there. ”
“the sea is salted because there are cods inside. And if it does not overflow, it is because providence, in its wisdom, also placed sponges there. ”.
“death is a lack of good manners. ”
“To leave, it is to die a little, but to die, it is to leave for good. ”
“One never should make projects, especially with regard to the future. ”
“people who never laugh are not serious people. ”
“we take with serious, it will not have no survivor there. ”
“When one does not work any more the following days of the days of rest, tiredness will be overcome. ”
“do not give to tomorrow, which you can do the day after tomorrow. ”
“It is always advantageous to carry a title. To be “of something” that poses a man, as to be “of wild rabbit” that poses a rabbit. ”
“moments ago when the absence of ogres is cruelly felt. ”
“When comes the summer the families bring their children at the seaside in the hope, often disappointed, of drowning ugliest. ”
“It is necessary to take the money where it is, i.e. at the poor. Good, of agreement, they do not have much money, but there are many the poor. ”
“money, in the final analysis, assistance to support poverty. ”
“the advantage of the doctors, it is that when they make an error, they bury it immediately. ”
“the bureaucracy it is like the microbes, one parlemente not with the microbes. They are killed! ”
“In the life, one should count only on oneself, and still, not much. ”
“It is necessary to require more of the tax and less of the taxpayers. ”
“Is needed which the men are animals to manufacture of the machines to commit suicide… as if one did not claquait rather quickly all alone! ”
“the great lucky find of the army, it is that it is the only one to have understood that competence is not read on the face. She thus invented the ranks. ”
“the roof of the economy: To sleep on the straw which one sees in the eye of his neighbor and to heat themselves with the beam which one has in his. ”
“the roof in geography: To believe that committed suicide are the inhabitants of Switzerland. ”
“You go there straight to the point, you! … Never! Only one, it is shorter. ”
“Of the words, the evils, still of the words, always of the evils. ”
“I continued my studies without never catching up with them…”
“Impossible to tell you my age: it changes all the time. ”
“In here are of the dirty rats, people! ”
“the cooked potatoes are more digestes that the potatoes cooked. ”

Principal works

to twist , 1891
Lives the life! , 1892
Two and two makes five , 1895
One is not oxen , 1896
Amours, delights and organ , 1898
we do not strike , 1900

It named one of its works the umbrella of the section for two reasons: it was not there question of umbrella of any kind, and the case of the section, so important unit of combat , was evoked there at no time (Boris Vian will retain the lesson for its title the autumn in Beijing). Some grumpy readers having protested, it entitled its following volume: Due to end of lease by justifying the opportunity of the title by the fact that its financial backer meant to him his leave at the end of the month .

Anecdotes

the association of the authentic friends of Alphonse Allais ( AAAAA ) is an organization gathering of the people who appreciate the humor of Alphonse Allais. It has its seat with the Petit Museum of Alphonse , with Honfleur.
falls It from Alphonse Allais to the cemetery of Ouen Saint disappeared in 1944 pennies the bombs from the R.A.F. Its ashes " virtual " were transferred to Montmartre in 2005.
Each Saturday afternoon, free visits of the " Small museum of Alphonse" (laboratory of the potards Went) take place in the back-store of the pharmacy of Passocéan de Honfleur, birthplace of Alphonse Allais. It is the smallest museum of the world, of which the conservative-guide official-man of maintenance (CGHE) is Jean-Yves Loriot, clandestine reincarnation of the large humorist…

See too

a quite Parisian drama

External bonds

to twist available on line. ABU
Some works are available on the site of the electronic Library of Quebec (to be twisted, Plaisirs of humor, the business Blaireau, Faits various I and II) .
Of many news of Alphonse Allais is also available on the site of the electronic Library of Lisieux
Some other texts on the site of the project Gutenberg
a short biography as well as a bibliography on the site Biblioweb
Its free books on Ebooks and free
the marriage of the widow Alphonse Allais with Maurice Bertrand.
to be twisted: text, agreements and list of frequencies.

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